By K. D. Sears: Informed sources report Atlantis shuttle pilot Steven Melnick's collision claims that "we just didn't see it" and "the damn thing was black as space and didn't show up on radar" are "excuses made up to hide egregious pilot error." Our sources state that the NASA examination of the somewhat damaged flight recorders have revealed "no evidence" of any mysterious black satellite. NASA publicly denies these results. NASA also denies taking blood and urine samples while the astronauts were hospitalized at the Rota medical facilities. Do these tests show positive results for hot-shot pilot Melnick? Was Melnick orbiting around the cabin while orbiting around the Earth? It would explain a lot about NASA's stonewalling and Melnick's lame excuses.

By K. D. Sears: A confidential source from the medical facilities at the US base at Rota, Spain has disclosed that Atlantis shuttle pilot Steven Melnick was "in a glassy-eyed state of shock" when he was taken aboard the ambulance after he left the shuttle. "Ten minutes later," the source continued, "he started shaking uncontrollably and twitching. The diagnosis was that this 'spaced out' condition wasn't the result of his relatively minor injuries; it could have been a long-standing condition aggravated by the stress of a difficult mission..." NASA and Melnick vehemently deny these statements, despite our reliable sources.

By K. D. Sears: Well-known psychic Harry "Eerie" Feller revealed evidence that the Atlantis shuttle disaster was caused by an out-of-control UFO piloted by Elvis Presley. Presley, who has been piloting saucers since faking his death, discussed the incident during an out-of-body visitation by the psychic at Presley's saucer base on the dark side of the Moon.