Gulag Schedule of Activities

Head Child - First thing, guards will be expecting one child chosen as leader of group for day. That person earns a Red Star. Decide who quickly, or guards get imaginative.

Bath - Guards take child for a bath approximately once every ten minutes. Unless volunteer, guards start with seeming dirtiest. All dirt is washed away... guards appreciate donation of all personal property on person at that time.

Art Activity - Guards order inmate work on art materials, for use/sale elsewhere. Handmade wallets, beaded jewelry, and poems are examples of such manufactures.

Lunch - Guards will hear inmates sing The Spontaneous Song of Praise. Borscht is then served. Bonus Borscht is given to good children who have Red Stars. All Borscht must be eaten.

TV Time - After lunch, child with many, many Red Stars may be granted privilege of listening to 5 minutes of Communism, given through magic of the highest cathode-ray tubed technology television.

Birthday Party - If there is child with birthday, child is hailed by guards! He or she is closer to day of entering Boris Badenov's Work and Re-education Camp for Slightly Older Naughty Children and Young Adults!

The Spontaneous Song of Praise

[To the tune of Greensleeves]

Boris Badenov, he is so great
Friend to all of the Communist state
My heart bleeds red Communistically
Boris has shown me the way
Borscht is so tasty, borscht is so sweet
Borscht is all we want to eat
Communism makes the bad go bye
We will not ask how or why

I once was an unrepentant child
I'm becoming a Communist grown-up now
Because of the Gulag for us we have learned
To honor the stuff we once spurned
I turn away from all candy now
All games and toys and television shows
And do what only Boris Badenov says
He is my Leader 'til I'm dead